03:51 The new Halo Infinite Winter Update multiplayer maps Wednesday 16:38 To recap: Bankman-Fried ran FTX. In just a few years, the crypto exchange went from nothing to plastering its name on all sorts of sporting events and magazine covers. It was considered extremely valuable because it charges customers to buy and bet on crypto, but also because Bankman-Fried was seen as the next techie to use FTX to launch a “super app” for funding that would make crypto legal. Some version of this is what he told venture capital firm Sequoia Capital, during a meeting where he was actually playing League of Legends. Sequoia knew this, went on to give Bankman-Fried over $200 million in funding, hailed his League of Legends playing in a profile on its website, and then deleted it after FTX was leveled and Sequoia had to tell investors it was one of them. left holding the bag in what appeared to be the latest crypto Ponzi scheme. Where did all that money go? No one knows for sure yet, but one place he definitely didn’t go was to pay for Bankman-Fried’s League of Legends training. According to research by the Financial Times, he was seemingly terrible at Riot Games MOBAs, playing over 1,000 matches without hitting platinum. In fact, it doesn’t appear to have ever left Bronze Tier II. G/O Media may receive a commission “There’s no clear pattern here: as you’d expect [sic] for a suitably low-ranked player, SBF maintained average-to-poor win ratios against its top champions (herbal lady Zyra, crossbow-wielding witch hunter Vane and Egyptian-inspired goddog Nasus),” reports the Financial Times. Bankman-Fried’s last known game appears to be in September 2021, likely shortly after the now infamous Sequoia pitch. In it she played Vayne, the monster hunter who has dedicated her life to destroying the demon that killed her family. He got six kills and four assists, but died 11 times. An extremely relatable performance, though it probably won’t inspire the cosmic brain state. But exposing his mediocre league record is the least of Bankman-Fried’s worries at this point. Things somehow only continued to get worse for him and the investors and clients he ripped off for billions. He was questioned by Bahamian police and is now being investigated by the Manhattan US Attorney’s office. FTX may have been hacked over the weekend after $600 million was just mysteriously leaked from the exchange. And the balance sheet that was shopped around to potential buyers and has now been made public after the bankruptcy process started makes absolutely no sense. It appears to consist almost entirely of encryption that Bankman-Fried was personally involved in creating, in addition to hidden columns, unexplained entries, seemingly garbled numbers, and typographical errors. Worst of all, it doesn’t really explain where all the money went. “It’s an Excel file full of howls of ghosts and screams of tortured souls,” wrote Matt Levine in Bloomberg. “If you look at this spreadsheet for too long, you’ll go crazy.”
