The experts who spoke to Lifehacker described grief as a normal emotional state that all people experience in their lives after loss, disappointment or other upsetting events. Depression, on the other hand, is a mental health condition characterized by a persistent sad mood or loss of pleasure for most of the day and nearly every day for at least two weeks, according to Dr. Kathryn Gordon, a clinical psychologist and author of The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook. One of the biggest differences between sadness and depression is how long the experience lasts. Dr. Bedford Palmer, a licensed psychologist in California and founder of Deeper Than Color, said grief is moment-specific. “It can be a melancholy that lasts a day. The weather may now have changed,” Palmer said. “It might be something that honestly isn’t that bad. Sadness is something you can feel and appreciate, like, ‘I feel sad because this thing happened,’ and that’s appropriate.” Depression, however, is much more complicated and can seriously affect a person’s life. Palmer explained that depression is a constellation of symptoms that includes sadness, but that there are other things going on. People may lose their appetite, have trouble sleeping, have an upset stomach, have trouble concentrating, or not enjoy things they normally enjoy. In these cases, the person is experiencing something beyond grief that may be difficult to deal with on their own.
How different depression is from a sad or bad day
Dr. Jesse Gold, a psychiatrist and assistant professor of psychiatry at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, said in an email that medical professionals look for a variety of symptoms when diagnosing depression, not just sadness. For a major depressive episode, which consists of intense and overwhelming symptoms that interfere with a person’s daily life, the symptoms must be present for two weeks. According to Gold, this criterion emphasizes that “people have reactions to life events or even just a more difficult day at work, and these do not need to be pathologized.” “Many people feel sad, it’s a normal reaction, but it’s important to notice what else happens to you when you feel sad, how long these symptoms last and whether they interfere with your daily life. -Daily life,” Gold said. “That matters.” In addition, depression can manifest itself in different ways than sadness, and sometimes people with depression may not feel sadness, Palmer notes. Depression can cause people to have trouble concentrating or become really irritable. It can also make people demotivated or withdraw from others.
Sadness is momentary, but depression can be hard to escape
Palmer points out that it’s helpful to think of depression as if it were on a spectrum. Simply put, someone can have minor depression to major depression. What differentiates these episodes is their level of intensity, which refers to how they interfere with a person’s life and how long they last. “It’s very different from listening to a sad song and feeling down. It’s still different than losing a family member and being really, really sad for a month, but then coming out of it and feeling a little bit better every week,” he said. “With depression, it’s not about an emotional trigger or the time distance from an emotional trigger. You don’t get out of it and feel good until the biological causes of depression are changed naturally or through medication.” However, this does not mean that grief cannot affect people in a profound way. Gordon, the psychologist and author, said in an email that sometimes sadness can have a greater impact on people, even if they are not also experiencing depression. For example, he explained that when sadness is associated with sadness, it can affect people’s lives and mood for longer periods of time, even if they are not also depressed.
People who do not treat their depression are at risk of having another episode
In our society, it’s common for loved ones to tell people experiencing depression to power through it, or that it’s a part of life. Gordon explains that sometimes, depression goes away on its own. This can be due to the passage of time, changing life circumstances or what is called “spontaneous remission” without knowing the cause, he said. But this does not mean that a person cannot experience another depression in the future. “[I]If depression goes away on its own without treatment and learning new coping strategies, it increases the risk that depression will return at some point,” Gordon said. Palmer agreed and said that many times, people with depression will go into a valley and then come back. The effects of depression wear off and they may feel better, perhaps even for a long time. But susceptibility to depression is a different story. Palmer compared sensitivity to a physical condition, such as asthma. You might not have had an attack in years, Palmer said, but that doesn’t mean the potential for an attack isn’t there.
People with depression may have suicidal thoughts
Suicidal thoughts are another big divide between grief and depression. According to Gold, the psychiatrist, suicidal thoughts and depression often go hand in hand, and depression is a risk factor for suicide. However, he stressed that not everyone who has suicidal thoughts is depressed. Likewise, not everyone with depression has suicidal thoughts. Gold said she considers suicidal thoughts to be a serious warning sign when it comes to depression, but she also pointed out that for a psychiatrist, there are different levels of seriousness to thoughts. These nuances are generally not something friends or family members notice, but mental health providers are trained to do so. “For a psychiatrist, there’s a difference between, ‘It would be nice not to wake up tomorrow,’ and ‘I started saving on my medication, and I know I’d like to end my life this way,’” Gold said, adding that when suicidal thoughts become more frequent or less easy to ignore, psychiatrists are more concerned.
How to know when to seek help
All of the experts who spoke to Lifehacker stressed that it’s important for people to know what their “baseline” is—normal behavior for them—and to pay close attention to any changes. Gold suggests asking questions about specific habits and activities. Do you usually sleep seven hours and now sleep five? Are you eating differently than usual? Are you isolated and don’t want to do things with friends? Another important aspect to consider is whether a person’s symptoms are worsening, the psychiatrist explained. (For example, if you used to be able to get out of the house to see your friends, but now you can’t.) People should also think about how their symptoms affect their lives. Just because you’re still functioning and going to work or school doesn’t mean you’re okay. “I see a lot of health care workers and college kids who say, ‘I go to school and my grades are good,’ or ‘I go to work and I can still do my job well,’ so I can’t get depressed.” , Gold said. “In my experience, school and work are something many of us can do for a long time while depressed, and it’s the other areas of our daily lives that [are affected first].” Some people may stop taking care of themselves or their home, Gold said. They may also stop maintaining friendships or devote less attention to relationships with partners or children. Palmer and Gordon point out that other warning signs include feeling sad for a long time, such as most of the day or almost every day for weeks. People should consider getting help when their emotional state is causing them great distress and is affecting their relationships, work or school. Suicidal thoughts are also a big and serious warning sign. People who experience recurrent suicidal thoughts should seek professional help immediately.
How is depression treated?
Treatment for depression depends on many factors, Gold said, including the severity of symptoms, the person’s mental health history and family history of mental health. Many people can begin to manage their depression with therapy, he said, which allows them to identify the reasons behind the depression and the triggers. Cognitive behavioral therapy can give people skills to cope with depression without medication. However, other people may not be able to improve with treatment alone and will need medication, according to Gold. In these cases, the preferred first line of medication that psychiatrists turn to is selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, which are the most commonly prescribed type of antidepressant. Research has shown that a combination of medication and therapy is the best treatment option for people with moderate to severe depression. Overall, all the experts who spoke to Lifehacker emphasized that there are many evidence-based treatments available to help people experiencing depression. They also said it’s never too early to get help. “Depression affects many people. It is not the result of weakness or personal flaw. It’s a mental health condition with useful treatments available,” Gordon said. “Please be compassionate with yourself if you are struggling and know that you deserve support.”
